Yes, I would agree with that.
How does a man fulfil himself in life?
I would say that a man fulfils himself by the knowledge that
he has always tried what to do is right rather than what is expedient.
Well, can a man always distinguish between the two?
-Oh, I think so. -Ah!
Well, there is a thing called conscience.
Oh, but consciences vary, surely?
A certain action to one man may seem right, to another wrong.
Yes, I agree. I'm not claiming there are any absolute standards.
But the only certain rule in life is that
happiness lies in doing one's duty.
And one's duty is to do what seems right to one at the time,
even though, ultimately, it may prove wrong.
Even though it may harm not only yourself but other persons?
Oh, I think so. There's no doubt about that at all, in my mind, anyway.
No, a man must always try to do his duty as he sees that duty at the time.
I don't think there's any escape from that, Mr Mann.
You've had a very long career, Sir John.
-Thirty five years. -Thirty five years.
In your first year as a barrister, how much did you earn?
-Exactly £15. -And last year?
Oh, don't worry about the inspector of taxes.
If he should be looking in, you can always say it was a slip of the tongue.
Might I suggest it was nearer fifteen thousand than fifteen?
Well, yes, I suppose you could suggest that.
So you consider that your life has been a long and successful journey?
-We'll take three next. -Camera three.
Certainly and successful, if you judge success purely by increase of income.
Well, surely that's not an unusual way of measuring success.
He's rambling a bit. Joe, he hasn't looked at his clock.
Does he know he's only got 90 seconds?
Not unusual, I agree, but not, in my view, the best one.
Well, I'm afraid our time is getting short
so I must come to my last, my final question.
Well, I shall try to face it bravely.
How does a man fulfil himself in life?
Mmm?
You've already asked me that question.
-Oh, Lord! Has he been, uh... -I often, I often,
-ask a key question twice, Sir John. -Load the captions.
-John, be ready to cut off sound. -Sometimes one gives
a different answer the second time.
You, as a lawyer, would appreciate the value in cross-examining...
In a court of law, I am never allowed to repeat a question
that has already been answered.
Yes, but this isn't a court of law, Sir John, this is Heart to Heart.
And, in conclusion, may I say
what a very rewarding experience it has been for me to have had you
as my 59th victim.
Well, I will say he has a sublime gift for recovery.
Cue Grams. Sublime? I mean, it's got to be, hasn't it?
-Two, track in as usual. -Super captions.
Cue announcer.
ANNOUNCER: You have just seen the 59th edition of Heart to Heart,
a British Television Company presentation.
MAN: In on victim.
And in tonight's Heart to Heart, the victim...
MAN: Super his caption.
-Was Sir John Dawson-Brown QC. -Cut!
-And your grand inquisitor, as always... -Super his captions.
David Mann.
Take it out. Cue David.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the end of another edition
of Heart to Heart.
Tomorrow night, at our usual 9:15, we will present the last programme
in our present series.
And for this special occasion, we've chosen a man who I'm sure you'll agree
is a very special victim indeed. None other than a...
A man whose, whose meteoric rise in politics, ladies and gentlemen,
has made his name the talk of the nation.
Appointed only a few days ago,
his name has now become a household word.
It's a name, ladies and gentlemen...
Joe, he's dried on the name.
Get the idiot board, chalk up Johnson, but quick.
He is eminently fitted to end the present series.
We have been fortunate in...
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the Right Honourable
Sir Stanley Johnson, MP, Minister of Labour.
So don't forget. Tune in tomorrow night.
And once again we will present the truth,
the real truth, the truth of the heart. Good night and thank you.
Grams up. Super captions.
(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)
MAN: Fade it slowly.
Fade me out, too.
Joe, for God's sake, I gave you the sign.
Did you have to take all night?
Sorry, Dave. Right, clear studio!
But you were the last person I thought would fluff on Stan Johnson.
Mickey, you fry me with that light. Does it have to be so close?
This is the one who gets you all those fans.
Oh, come on.
Sir John, can we have some photographs, please?
In your original chair, if you don't mind.
-Stills please, David. -All right.
Thank you.
It's all right. The fluff on the name, he got away with it, touch wood.
Where do you find wood in a television control room?
Shepherd's Bush, I expect, Frank.
Finest old mahogany.
That's uncalled for, Fred. The motto of fifth channel is "Amity To All".
-Even the BBC? -They do good work, Bill.
Their viewers are very happy, I'm told. All 16 of them.
(LAUGHING)
MAN ON ADVERT: The cigarette for you. Only 3/10 for 20.
Tell me what did you do before this?
I was a lecturer in political economy at Oxford.
Really? (SMIRKING)
Quite a change from all this, I daresay.
Yes, quite a change.
Smile please, Mr Mann. That's it. Lovely.
Thank you very much, gentlemen. We're through.
Okay, all right. Thank you, gentlemen, the ordeal is over.
Thank you, Sir John.
(CREW DISCUSSING)
-Oh, Mr Godsell, was it all right? -Sir John, thank you. Yes, very good.
Very good indeed.
Um, have you met my production secretary, Mrs Weston?
-How do you... -How do you think it went, Mrs Weston?
Oh, one of the best chairs we've ever had.
(LAUGHING) Mind you, he asked me some pretty tough questions, this young man.
That's my job, Sir John, to get at the truth.
Of course, mine, too, you know.
Oh, not quite, is it? Surely yours is only to get that
aspect of truth which may suit your case.
Please, now, let's don't get into another heart to heart, please.
Oh, Frank, the controller would like to see you.
Doesn't he ever leave that office? Does he eat and sleep there as well?
-He just likes watching television. -Well, hasn't he got a set at home?
And his wife likes Coronation Street and she talks.
To him, when she doesn't have to?
All right. Well, will you look after, um, Sir John?
Oh, great pleasure.
One of your best, David.
Goodbye, Mr Mann. Thank you for letting me off so lightly.
Good night, Sir John.
This way, sir.
-(SMIRKING) Did I? -Oh, I wouldn't say that.
-If I did, I was bad, he's a phoney. -Well, that came out.
-A time server. -That came out too.
With a very odd sex life, I shouldn't wonder.
That didn't come out.
And why should it? What's an odd sex life got to do with truth of the heart?
-Do you want me to answer that question? -No, Mrs Weston.
I want you to join me in a drink.
-Uh, I'll watch you if you like. -You'll join me.
(STAMMERING) Tom, can I have a couple of glasses?
You'll get me into trouble with the union, you will.
It's all right, I'll drink from the flask.
All right, Tom. Forget it.
Tough girl, eh?
No, not tough at all. I'm far too soft about some things.
For instance, I should be confiscating that.
I should have you barred from television.
That is if I'm not barred myself, after tonight.
-How bad was it? -Not good, Mr Mann.
Why you always call me Mr Mann?
Because you always call me Mrs Weston.
I only do that to remind myself that you're married.
-How is Mrs Mann, by the way? -Oh, fine, fine.
-Enjoying the new flat, I suppose? -Like mad!
Good!
-Ta-da, David. See you tomorrow. -Ta-da.
That is, if there is a tomorrow.
I suppose they can't sack me before that. Or can they?
Well, they could refuse your new contract.
So?
Oh, I see. It's your night for being the embittered success, is it, Mr Mann?
Listen, Mrs Weston.
A thing doesn't stop being true just because it's become a cliché.
As has been written about so badly, so often, success can be hell.
Now, you tell me about it.
I only know about failure, and that isn't exactly heaven.
I wasn't a failure before this circus.
Well, you will be after this circus, if you're go on as you're going.
Well, I have to have a couple of drinks before I go in front of the cameras.
I've got to.
It's got nothing to do with nerves or strain.
I could do this job on my head any night.
And one of these nights you will.
Oh, Jessie, for heaven's sake, stop this eternal wisecracking.
That's part of the whole thing, this eternal wisecracking.
It's as if everyone in this profession has to joke about their work
in order to keep sane.
Other people don't joke about their jobs, do they?
Farmers do. I know, I was brought up in the country.
Why do I drink? Oh, why do I drink?
Can you tell me that?
Well, I can give you one good reason.
Because you can afford to.
Farmers usually can't, except on Saturdays nights.
-Oh, Jess! -That wasn't a wisecrack, Mr Mann,
it was just a cliché.
Look, hadn't we better get out of here before we get locked in for the night
-and I am fatally compromised? -You might just get strangled.
-I'd still get compromised. -Hmm.
And, of course, Mr Weston wouldn't like that.
-He'd hate it. -A-ha!
-And so would Mrs Mann. -Oh!
Sorry, that was the last one from the flask.
It's the first six from the bottle, if you ask me.
Do farmers feel ashamed of their jobs?
Now, what makes you feel ashamed of yours, Mr Mann?
Well, in the first place, it's grossly overpaid.
(TUTTING) That's a shame I could bear a fraction of.
Oh, I'm sorry, that was a wisecrack. Go on, second.
Second place, it's a job that could be done by any man of fair intelligence,
a modicum of industry and a quick brain. There must be thousands and thousands
of men who could do this job happily and well...
-Oh, just leave it at thousands. -For a tenth of my price.
-Some might stay sober too. -And I have to get myself
a convertible Bentley and a flat in Belgravia.
-And for one reason, one reason only. -What?
-That. -What?
That.
Apparently it makes a dimple somewhere when I smile, God knows where.
God and you, Mr Mann.
Ten million morons go for this every night. Why?
Don't ask me. I'm not one of the ten million.
First few letters I got were flattering, I suppose.
The next hundred or so, funny, in a way.
Now? Now, they're just downright insulting.
Damn it, I used to be one of the best political economists in the country.
Surely I'm worth more than this.
About 300 more pounds a week more, I'm told.
Blast you, Mrs Weston. Good night.
-David? -Yeah?
Hadn't we better go this way, hmm? Not the front.
Perhaps.
-Are you driving yourself? -Oh, no. Chauffeur.
-Brand new, £14 a week. -(TUTTING) Hard luck.
-Jessie. -Hmm?
I suppose I'm a self-pitying bore.
-No, David, not to me. -But you do see my point.
Of course I do.
You could always go back to political economy, of course.
No, it's too late. I've burnt my boats, you know that.
Oh, well. You'll just have to learn to live with that dimple, won't you?
Other people have had to learned to live with much more worse.
Just a little homespun philosopher, aren't you?
You must drive your poor husband round the bend.
Possibly, but not to drink.
Ah, very funny.
Has he sold any poems recently?
Yes. As a matter of fact, he has.
Three weeks ago, to one of those intellectual weeklies.
He got all of 12 guineas for it.
Ha! Why doesn't he get a regular job in journalism or something or even this TV?
Surrender to the Establishment?
Even having babies would be a surrender to bourgeois domesticity.
So, meanwhile, he just lives off you?
Why not? A genius has to live off someone.
Genius!
Ah! Here's my grand convertible.
I've given Conway my chauffeur the night off.
-Can you see yours? -Yes, he's around. (WHISTLING)
Well, after alls said and done,
I suppose we don't do such a bad job really.
At least, it's the most honest programme of its kind, isn't it?
Now, don't make a wisecrack about that or I will strangle you.
I wasn't going to. I think it is.
And I think as long as you're on it and you stay sober enough to articulate,
it'll go on being it.
Thank you, Mrs Weston.
-Good night. -Good night, Mr Mann.
Yes, yes, I grant you his following and the excellent rating.
I even grant you that probably not more than one viewer in a thousand tonight
realised that anything was wrong. But that's just the one thousandth viewer
that I have to think of.
Well, he's probably a drinker, too. The ones that notice usually are.
I don't want you to be facetious about this, Frank, it's serious.
Oh, no, it isn't. He's not an alcoholic.
Still, I will talk to him, I promise.
Tell him that, in this business, no one man is indispensable.
I shall remember those exact words.
And tell him that his new contract isn't signed yet.
Well, I think he knows that. Mine isn't either, if it comes to that.
Well, er, how'd you think the show was, otherwise?
Well, Frank, since you ask. Mind you, it's your programme.
I don't want to interfere at all. I hope you understand that clearly but
aren't we getting a bit near the bone? I mean, poor old Johnny Dawson-Brown
was made to seem a pretty fair poop tonight.
-Well, he is a pretty fair poop. -Possibly, but...
He's a very distinguished man and, incidentally, a friend of mine.
That's nothing to do with it, of course.
Of course.
And tomorrow night we have a minister of the Crown.
So I think a little easing up would be in order. Don't you?
Put it to David Mann anyway.
But the other thing, the drinking, now that is an order.
And you have to give it.
After all, it's your programme. It's you who carry the can, if things go wrong.
Yes and, in television, no one man is indispensable.
That's right.
Now, good night, Frank.
Good night, Stockton.
Jesus!
Hello. How did it go?
-Well, didn't you watch it? -No, I had the Wilkinsons in.
Well, couldn't you have watched it with them?
-They hate television. -Oh, I see.
No, they just won't do.
-What won't do? -These curtains.
You're ruffling my hair.
There was a time when you liked it being ruffled.
Well, in those days it started that way and stayed that way.
And I preferred it that way.
Why won't they do?
It's too big an expense to cover with just one plain colour.
They make the room look cold and bare.
The Wilkinsons hated them.
The Wilkinsons seems to hate a lot of things.
-Oh, they're sweet people. -I know you think so.
Darling, they're great friends of Barbara Milchester.
Well that makes you and Barbara Milchester
who think they're sweet.
Personally, I think they're ghastly.
In my ideal test team of cracking bores,
they go first for England.
We can't have any new curtains in this room until those are paid for
-and that's flat. -(PHONE RINGING)
Yes. What is it? Yes, William.
-What lady? -Says she's got to see you.
Matter of life and death.
Something about your programme tomorrow night about Sir...
Sir Stanley Johnson.
No, that's why I have kept her here in the front lobby,
because I knew you always slip in at the back.
Well, it's just that they don't usually come as late as this.
Well, tell her to write in to BTV in the usual way.
Or if she wants something more personal, she can always get her head well down
in the scrum outside the studio gates tomorrow night.
All right.
-What's that you're drinking? -Orange squash.
-Why? -Because I'm thirsty.
I mean, why not whisky as usual?
Because I've had far too many whiskies as usual already.
You sounded to me just now as if you've haven't had enough.
I was lurching about till I had a sandwich and three espressos
on the way home.
Also I boobed on part of the interview tonight.
Dried on Stanley Johnson's name, Stanley Johnson. (EXCLAIMS).
Mind you, it's their damn silly fault.
I'm expected to keep an air of dignity and mystery about me,
and yet spark their idiotic plugs for them.
I should have refused to do it in the first place.
Come to think of it, in the next series I ruddy well will.
Are you listening to a word I'm saying?
Yes, you're not going to do the new plug for them in the next series
and quite right, too.
Are you sure these haven't been paid for?
-Quite sure. -I know we paid for some curtains.
Yes, the ones in the television room.
As that room's never used, it seems rather a waste of money.
You are in a bad way tonight.
Are you sure a little drink wouldn't help?
Quite sure, thank you.
I'll watch tomorrow night, darling.
-What's the matter? -Nothing.
It's just that I like looking at you from this angle, that's all.
Well, it's not exactly a new one, is it?
-Oh, no, my hair. -Oh, damn your hair.
Why this all of a sudden?
It's not all of a sudden.
I've loved you like this for eight years and you know it.
What's more, it seems to get worse, not better.
You mean better, not worse, don't you?
No, I mean what I said.
PEGGY: Mmm.
Maybe I should always ask you for new curtains if it makes you
as passionate as this.
-Listen to me, Margarita Igetsnovich. -Peggy Mann.
-Margarita Igetsnovich of Riga. -What's Riga got to do with anything?
I was only five when we left.
Later of 196 Banbury Road, Oxford.
How much did your father pay for those two rooms, £2 a week?
Thirty seven shillings. Isn't it extraordinary?
He took them in 1939, you see, on a long rent and quite often,
I believe, thought of giving them up for somewhere cheaper. (LAUGHING)
Somewhere cheaper. Imagine. Of course, after the war they couldn't turn us out.
Funny to think of it now, Father, a Fellow of New College.
And his daughter, the wife of David Mann.
Yes, and very proud of it, too.
You're not proud enough to watch his television programme.
Oh, we'll let that pass, Margarita Igetsnovich.
Do you remember my first present to you?
Um, no.
-It was a China cat. -Oh, yes, of course, it was lovely.
Cost four shillings and sixpence.
-And you cried. -Of course I cried, it was lovely.
Since that day, eight years ago,
have you ever asked me for anything and been refused?
(BOTH) No.
So do you honestly think that the moment there's enough money in the bank
to pay for them, that you're not going to get your new curtains?
Oh, darling. I am the most blessed of wives, aren't I?
I think so. And I think I'm the most blessed of husbands.
These are the patterns.
Let me see, now, this is the one I think you'll like the best.
Because you like it the best.
-(DOORBELL RINGING) -Expecting anyone?
Well, you'd better see who it is anyway. There's a mad women on the prowl for me
and she may have slipped past William.
Mmm. Do you think she'll scratch my eyes out?
Oh, why give her the chance? You scratch first, it's your right.
Hello, Peggy.
-Is, um, is David in? -Hello, Frank, come on in.
The porter said to tell you that the...
The lady... Thanks. The lady wouldn't wait.
But that it didn't matter because she knew where you'd be tomorrow.
Well, of course she'll know where I'll be tomorrow.
It's knowing where I am tonight that worries me.
-Have a drink. -Well, I won't, if you don't mind.
Why not? It's your time, isn't it?
Well, in view of what I've got to say...
Oh.
Oh, come on, don't be a fool. Peggy, give him a strong drink.
Well, I'll help myself.
-Peggy, would you mind awfully if... -Oh, it's all right. I'm used to that.
No, Frank, (STAMMERS) I'd like Peggy to stay, if you don't mind.
Peggy, come and sit down over here.
It might be good for you to hear this. Go ahead, Frank.
Well, it seems you already know what I'm gonna say.
Yes, but Peggy doesn't.
-So say it in front of her, will you? -No, David, I won't, if you don't mind.
Very well then, I will. Correct me where I go wrong.
Frank was summoned by the controller of programmes tonight because I was
-drunk in front of the camera. -Well, that isn't true, Peggy.
-It was just a couple of slips. -I know, he told me but surely...
He was given the unpleasant task of telling me
that I don't get my new contract.
In fact, that I'm out of television for good,
unless I sign the pledge.
Or am I out anyway?
No, nor do you have to sign the pledge.
But I have to be a good boy from now on.
Well, that's roughly the message.
Yeah.
In television, no one man is indispensable.
-He did coin that phrase. -How did I guess?
So, come on, Frank, let's have a big, strong drink.
-My God, no! Are you mad? -Why not? I might as well enjoy it
if it's going to be my last.
But do you mean there's a chance they mightn't sign the new contract?
No chance, Peggy. No chance at all.
Well, why didn't you tell me there'd been this trouble?
I tried to tell you, my darling, but you didn't seem particularly interested.
Listen, Frank, if there's any danger of the new contract not coming through,
you can rely on me.
-My God, can you rely on me. -I know I can, Peggy, thank you.
And from now on, there's not going to be a bottle of alcohol in this flat.
Well, that's gonna go down well with some of your friends.
There's a women called Caroline Wilkinson and what she can do...
Don't make fun of me, David, please.
It's at times like this I feel most my foreign blood.
I don't understand you, David!
You have a drink, sometimes a few too many.
But so do nearly all your friends. You go off to your show.
All right, I don't watch enough, so perhaps I'm a bad wife,
but when I do, they seem fine to me
and make me happy I'm married to such a brilliant man.
But then you come home, you have a few more drinks,
I think there's nothing wrong and I bother you about new curtains.
Now, suddenly, I'm told you are in trouble, bad trouble.
-Well, he's not in bad trouble. -I don't just mean with the company,
I mean, real trouble.
Whatever it is that makes him drink or take risks,
like getting drunk in front of the camera.
And I'm his wife and I'm the last person to hear about it.
Well, shouldn't I have been the first?
Of course you should, my darling, and, in fact, you were.
When have you ever tried to tell me about it? When?
Constantly, from over a year ago when I took the job.
And it seems only now that I'm in danger of losing it that, at last,
-I've got you to listen. -But why do you drink, because of me?
No, because of me, because of my job!
So you tried to tell me and I wouldn't listen.
Who else did you tell who did?
No one, of course. Who else would I want to tell but...
I didn't ask who else you wanted to tell, I asked who else you told.
-No one. -Well, I have an answer to that,
brief and sharp but I won't use it in front of Frank.
Good night, Frank. I'm sure you boys have a lot to talk about.
Sorry about the scene.
That's your last drink now. That's his last drink tonight, Frank.
Yes, Peggy. Good night.
I really broke through, didn't I? I really broke through.
Oh, leave me out of your domestic troubles.
Why should I? You don't leave me out of yours. How is Muriel, by the way?
-Don't let's go into that. -No, we won't. But what about that?
You heard her. It was her brilliant husband that she loved.
-Ah, ah, ah, ah. -I'm sorry.
-Yes, I heard her say it. -I don't like that reading.
And what about the jealousy? Jealousy from Peggy. "Who else have you told?"
-Who else have you told? -No one, you heard me say it.
Yes, I heard you say it.
-I don't like that reading either. -Well, I'm sorry, but that's the way
I'm reading them tonight.
Well, I'm gonna have another drink.
I know it's cruelty but you'll just have to get used to it.
Which one of them do you really love?
I suppose, if you were a stone lighter,
I should have to ask you to step outside.
Well, it'll be less exhausting for both of us
if you'd just answer the question.
That one, of course.
Isn't the "of course" redundant?
Yes, you clever producer.
That one. Is that better?
Anyway, she's my wife.
And the other one's married.
At least there aren't any babies to complicate the issue.
I wish there were.
Since the first one went wrong, she can't...
No.
But there is no issue to complicate, Frank.
-No? -No.
You first shock question was badly phrased.
Believe me, I'm the expert on this. I know.
Which one is based on a huge false assumption?
That no one man can love two woman equally at the same time.
Equally, but not in the same way.
-Brilliant! You should do my job. -I may have to.
-You'd be awful. -I expect so.
Anyway, you haven't got a dimple.
-Well, I could try surgery. -(CHUCKLING)
You're, um, you're to let up on the Sir Stanley thingummy tomorrow.
What's that you said, Frank?
Controller's orders. Minister of the Crown.
Now just a minute, Frank.
Let's alter the slogan a little for tomorrow night, shall we?
The aim of BTV is to give you the half truth of the heart.
And if the Controller wants to make this a precedent,
we'll keep it in for next series.
-If there is a next series. -There'll be a next series.
It's 8:30 tomorrow morning, there's the address.
8:30! Why 8:30?
-He's got a cabinet meeting at 10:00. -Ruislip, my God!
Where the hell's Ruislip?
Well, perhaps he can't afford Belgravia.
-Don't be late. -Could you see her letting me be?
She'll be prodding me awake at 6:00 a.m. from now on.
-Just like a good wife should. -(CHUCKLING)
Well, good night, David.
Good night.
So, you think I'm a terrible wife?
No.
You tell me your troubles and I don't listen to them.
Not very often.
But that doesn't make you a terrible wife.
Well, from now on I'm going to listen to every word.
-Every word. -Well, that's good.
I shall have to make my conversation interesting.
And I'm going to watch you like a hawk.
I'm not going to let out of my sight for a second.
That's even better.
(SIGHING) This is all I mean to you, isn't it?
Not quite all.
But a lovely high percentage of it.
-Mr Mann here already? -Been here a quarter of an hour, miss.
Oh, gosh! Then I'm the last.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
I have an appointment to see the Minister.
You're another of the telly crowd, aren't you? Come in, dear.
Ooh, no, Charles. No.
You can't go out there. (CHUCKLING)
-You can hang your coat up there. -Oh.
My husband's just finishing his breakfast. He won't be very long.
The others are in there.
Ooh, and if you could get that marvellous Mr Mann
to sign this, I'd be so grateful.
With a little message.
Well, I'm sure if you asked him yourself, Lady Johnson...
Oh, I wouldn't dare. (CHUCKLING)
-Mabel. -Yes, dear?
-Has my PPS come yet? -No, not yet, dear.
-Well, come here, I want you. -Yes, dear.
Now, be a good boy, Charles.
-Mabel. -I'm coming dear.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
-Ah, good morning, Jessie. -Good morning, Frank.
Good morning, Mr Mann.
Portrait of an inquisitor who hasn't done his homework.
SIR STANLEY: Well, come in.
Well, what do you make of this setup?
Rather impressive.
Man of the people. Lives as he always has.
No side to our new Minister of Labour.
Power may corrupt others, it's not going to corrupt our Stanley.
Hmm. But is it on the level?
You say first.
Well, I'd say it's a front.
A flat in Westminster would suit him better and he could afford it.
This looks better in the papers. Now you.
Well, I'd say it's on the level.
A man that who would stick that on the wall must be on the level.
What do you say, Mr Mann?
I say, what wouldn't I give for one large brandy?
Then I might make some sense out of this man.
All right, then I'll forgive you this once,
perhaps if I'm in a good mood, even twice.
But the third time, I'm telling you this straight, lad, you're out.
And out for good. Unpunctuality is the one thing I won't stand.
I'm most terribly sorry, Sir Stanley, but the traffic...
Well, forgive me, ladies... Oh, lady and gentlemen.
Sorry to have brought you here
at this ungodly time, it's all I could manage today.
Cabinet meeting this morning.
Debate on the new wage policy this afternoon.
Well, it's a great privilege to meet you at any time, Sir Stanley.
And may I say, on behalf of BTV, how grateful...
Yes. Well, forgive me if I look at this, will you? It might be important.
Sit down, won't you all?
Right. Begin, lady and gentlemen.
Well I better introduce myself, sir.
I'm Frank Godsell, the producer of Heart to Heart.
This lady, Mrs Weston, is my production secretary.
And this gentleman is Mr David Mann.
Ahh! The great "man" himself. (CHUCKLING)
Well, I've no doubt that's a pun that's been made before.
Well, I don't remember it, Sir Stanley.
Now, sir, before Mr Mann asks his questions, I'll tell you...
Now, if you're gonna tell me what this programme's about, you don't need.
I hear enough about it from my wife. She watches it every night.
Mind you, I think she's in love with our young friend here.
There's nothing I don't know about
the truth, the real truth, the truth of the heart.
Thank you very much.
It's unscripted, unrehearsed, unprepared.
What do you call this meeting, by the way? We'll let that pass.
It goes out live. The only show of its kind that does.
So you tell me what time I'm to be at the studio tonight
and leave the rest to my inquisitor there.
Well, the show goes on the air at 9:15.
And the controller of programmes
will be glad if you had a drank with him in the studio
a half an hour before the broadcast.
I'll be glad to. Now, Mr Mann, ask your questions.
Oh, I don't think I need waste any of your time, Sir Stanley, really.
Well, surely there must be some questions.
Oh, it's all here. It's perfectly straightforward.
Clever, Huh! He's trying to give me stage fright.
Thinks I'll go in front of the cameras tonight a nervous wreck
wondering just what questions he's going to ask.
(CHUCKLING) No, they'll only be very ordinary questions.
Your background, your early struggles, your successful career to date.
I can assure you, none of them will be in the least alarming, sir.
In fact, they may all be rather dull.
And who knows? Perhaps your wife will cease to love me.
Well, we don't want to make it too dull, you know.
You'll give them a few of the downs as well as the ups, I take it?
Have there been any downs, Sir Stanley?
Have there been any downs?
My life's been one long down, it seems to me.
What about the Durham by-election?
Which I lost by 50 votes and should have won by 5,000.
What about having the whip taken from me
in '55 'cause I wouldn't play ball over the wage freeze?
What about that Appleton Commission?
You'll ask me a few question about that, I take it?
Yes, yes, I had planned one or two.
I shall be glad to answer them, very glad indeed.
-Appleton Commission? -In '58.
The time one of our dear friends in the shadow cabinet
said the Board of Trade had given an engineering concession
to a certain Brazilian gentleman called Lopez,
in return for hotel bills, expense accounts and vi, vi...
How do you pronounce it?
-Vicuna coats. -Oh, yes, I remember, but, um...
-Were you involved in that, Sir Stanley? -Involved? I was the villain in chief.
Oh, that's not true, surely, sir?
It was your minister who was the chief subject for investigation.
Yes, but if they'd found against old Roger,
do you suppose they'd have let his parliamentary secretary go?
Not on your life.
The talk in the Commons smoking room then, let me tell you,
was that I was the chief culprit.
Because old Roger would always do everything I told him, anyway.
What did they think I was?
His lover boy or something? Oh, excuse me, Mrs uh...
Well, I mean to say, old Roger would never let me see one important paper.
What's that cat doing here?
No. Get it out of here. Do you mind?
I can't bear touching the things myself.
Hah.
Huh!
Lady Johnson, she's mad about them. (LAUGHING)
If she had her way, I'm telling you,
we'd have cats in this house the way other people have mice.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Oh, you liked that one, did you, Mrs... I rather enjoyed it myself.
Ah, it's one of my faults, they tell me in the House.
I enjoy me own jokes too much. (CHUCKLING)
Well, go easy with me tonight, Mr Mann.
You can see I'm fair game for a bright, young intellectual like you.
Anti-establishment on principle I'd say, aren't you?
Not on principle, sometimes on conviction.
Well, you can make mincemeat out of me
in front of 10 million people, I don't doubt.
Fifteen million.
What, is that the estimate? You don't say.
Well, if the PM had wanted a worthy antagonist view,
he'd have put up one of our bright young boys.
We have plenty of them.
No, in choosing me, he knew what he was doing.
Well, he usually does, Mann.
He doesn't care if his new Cabinet Minister
is made a bit of an ass of.
Well, I've been making an ass of myself all my life.
But he knew, too, that what I've got churning about here,
not here but here,
the good of our country and the future of our people
would make a bigger impression on 15 million viewers than any dozen of
his bright boys with their brilliant intellectuality.
So, tonight, just lead me on a bit,
perhaps towards the end, about those ideas, will you?
I'd be delighted.
But I would like some inkling of what those ideas are.
I mean, this stuff is all factual, sir.
-Have you written any books or articles? -Articles? Me?
I can hardly write one word after another, and that's a fact.
I tell you, did you hear the speech
I made last Thursday at the Mansion House?
No, I'm afraid I didn't.
Well, it was broadcast, televised, all that. There's bound to be a recording.
Frank? Thank you, sir, I'll have it run.
Good. Well, if there's anything else you want to know,
come to see me this afternoon at the Ministry.
Make the appointment with my PPS.
Well, goodbye, mustn't be late for my first Cabinet meeting.
That would never do.
Mr Stanley, there are some press photographers outside.
They'd like to get a shot of you getting into your car.
-Oh. Mabel! -Yes, dear?
Come and get your picture in the papers.
Oh, no, dear. I'm not dressed properly.
I've been making the beds.
Doesn't matter. Don't mind if we go first.
If your 15 million viewers get you in the paper,
they'll think tonight's all a put-up job.
Come on, Mabel, don't make yourself look glamorous.
They'll think it's a mistress I've got, not a wife.
-Put that damn cat down! -Oh, yes, dear.
On second thoughts, take it with you. Cats look good in photographs.
Only keep the damn thing away from me.
This way, Sir Stanley.
Well, gentlemen, you'll get a lovely picture here,
just the two of us and our dear, little cat.
Right? This all right? Well, I must get along now.
-Goodbye, dear. -One more, sir.
This way, sir.
(ALL CLAMOURING)
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Coffee, I need coffee!
Well, there's a place round the corner.
Does it look like the sort of place that would have espresso?
Frankly, no. But it's called Espresso Continental.
I'm in no mood for your humour this morning, Mrs W.
It's all right, he's gone.
-Goodbye, Lady Johnson. And thank you. -Goodbye.
Not at all.
Oh, did you manage to...?
Oh, I forgot, I nearly stole your autograph book, too. How awful.
It wouldn't have mattered, really. There's nobody very interesting in it.
Only the Prime Minister and Lord Boothby.
Oh, do it for me, would you, dear?
-Eh, David. -Uh-huh?
Lady Johnson would like you to sign her book.
-With a little message. -With a little message.
Oh, how charming. What would you like me to say?
Oh, anything that comes into your head, Mr Mann.
Oh, I'm afraid my head this morning, Lady Johnson, is not a receptacle
in which I place the greatest trust.
However, we'll have a go, shall we?
Goodbye, Mr Mann. Thank you so much.
It's been a pleasure.
-I'll be back in a few moments, John. -Yes, sir.
Well, what immortal message did you find?
"To Lady Johnson, who also loves the truth."
You should have put, "To Lady Johnson, who also loves me."
I can't stand you this morning, Mrs Weston.
Well, I'm not obsessed with your charms either, Mr Mann.
-Well? -Well, what?
How do we go?
I suppose man of the people is the line, plain honest Stan, hmm?
Not so honest he doesn't steal from James Thurber.
You noticed that, did you?
Why did you laugh like a ruddy hyena?
Because it was funny. It was funny when Thurber wrote it.
All right, I'm the ill-read one. Which crack was that?
"We have cats the way other people have mice."
Mrs Creeper Weston here split a gut.
When the victim laughs, I laugh, that's my policy.
I agree, Frank, we got absolutely nothing to go on,
absolutely nothing at all.
Except, perhaps "coming man of the party" angle.
But as it's to be an evening of sweetness and light by order,
I don't see that it matters...
Lady over there asked me to give you this.
Well, thank her very much, will you? Thank you. Here.
-Here. -Read it, Mr Mann.
It'll interest you.
Yes, I'm going to read it, madam, straightaway. Thank you so much.
Mind you, he's an ambitious one.
That stands out a mile.
And all this "can't write one word after another", that's a lot of guff.
He's got an excellent degree at Liverpool University.
Well, I suppose Mrs Weston will pay the bill as usual
and mark up quadruple the amount for expenses
-so I'll see you two at the run. -Sit down.
I think you should read this.
-Must I? -Well, it's addressed to you.
Hey!
This is a very bad joke, isn't it?
Why don't you ask her?
What if it isn't?
I don't want to get caught up in some cheap, blackmailing racket.
I'd better tear this up.
Well, then, tear it up.
Well, the date fits, but, of course, that's easy.
-Would either of you mind... -Mr Mann is going to tear it up.
It's far better we shouldn't either of us tell you.
This is a photostatted hotel bill, Frank.
The Hotel Mirabeau at Cannes.
It's for 257,852 francs.
That's before new francs, remember.
On top is written "Sir Johnson," that's a clever touch.
"Sir Johnson and Lady Johnson."
There's a receipt stamp at the bottom, cashier's signature across.
French-style handwriting.
They've obviously been to a great deal of trouble.
Yes, but who are "they"?
And why shouldn't the Johnsons have a holiday
in the South of France if they want to?
Across the bill, there's a large, bold signature.
What do you make that out to be?
"Manuel Lopez."
Yes. That's how I made it out, too.
-But that's the chap who... -Exactly.
-There were some grounds. -Of course, there were grounds.
He was obviously trying to get the Board of Trade
to fiddle the contract. The Appleton Commission that proved that.
Yes, but was there anything ever on Sir Stanley?
Nothing at all.
He came out of it better than anyone, loyally covering up for his chief.
In fact, tonight when dealing with the case, I was going to bring that...
Oh, wait a minute!
-I think we've got him here, look. -What?
"Coiffeur, hairdressing, 25,000."
That's twenty odd pounds in nine days for hair. Mabel Johnson?
You wait here.
Ah, Mr Mann. Do sit down.
I don't think so, thank you.
Just as you please.
But you'll want to know my name, won't you?
Not particularly, unless possibly to give it to the police.
It's Knott. Miss Knott.
I live in Hightower Mansions, Leinster Gardens, West Kensington.
I'm in the telephone book.
But if Sir Stanley wants to prosecute me,
he knows perfectly well where to find me.
I haven't changed my address in 13 years
and for 10 of them, I was his secretary.
Can you prove that?
I have his letter of dismissal.
-Photostatted? -Oh, no.
There was no point in photostatting this.
You mean you can't blackmail him on it?
Well, I hadn't thought
I suppose I could, really.
As contributory evidence, anyway.
You notice the sum he offered me to "tide me over", doesn't he say,
was rather larger than the sum
people usually offer their secretaries when they sack them.
It eases my conscience just a weeny bit to be able to tell you
I sent back the cheque.
I'll accept that somebody called Miss Knott was his secretary,
but how do I know that's you?
Not a very flattering photograph I'm afraid.
Thank you.
-Where's the original of this? -At my bank.
So you admit that you stole a document from your employer.
Oh, no, I don't admit that.
I'm a naughty girl in a hundred ways but I've never stolen anything in my life.
So your story is that you were in Cannes with him.
Oh, yes.
I always went on those sort of jaunts with them.
Sir Stanley didn't ever want to have any personal contact with Mr Lopez.
So I was always used as a kind of glorified messenger girl,
running between Mr Lopez's yacht and Sir Stanley.
Usually carrying large dollops of cash.
And, sometimes, at night, too,
if Sir Stanley had had a bad time at the casino.
And you know those terrible, tough, young men
who lounge up and down the Croisette at night
giving girls those impertinent stares.
Well, sometimes I thought, when one of them
were staring particularly hard at me,
"Isn't it a mercy? It's just me he's looking at.
"And doesn't know what's in my bag." (CHUCKLING)
Once in Capri...
I'm afraid I still happen to think this document is a forgery, Miss Knott.
-In fact, I know it is. -Really?
How?
You say you were with Sir Stanley for 10 years?
Then you must have known his wife very well.
Oh, yes, very well, we got on like a house on fire.
Then how could you or your associates
have made such an unlikely mistake as this.
Hair dressing, twenty pounds odd in nine days.
Well, that was rather cheap for her.
What? For Mabel Johnson?
Oh! (LAUGHING)
Lady Johnson. (CHUCKLING)
That must have been that charming young cashier leaping to conclusions.
But it's all right, Mr Mann.
All that side of it was always perfectly aboveboard.
She always registered under her own name and they always took separate rooms.
Usually with a sitting room in between.
What were her name?
Clay! Miss Enid Clay.
Rabbity girl. Teeth sticking out like this.
-She couldn't act either. -And where is she now?
Oh, when the trouble blew up, he got rid of her.
I believe she went to Australia and got married.
Yes, well, that's very convenient for you, isn't it, Miss Knott?
All the material witnesses seem to have disappeared.
-Lopez, Clay. -Well!
I'm still here, aren't I?
But I don't happen to think you're a very reliable witness, Miss Knott.
Your testimony wouldn't stand up in a court of law.
Oh, I know it wouldn't.
Dismissed secretary turning against her ex-boss.
Says nothing for three years,
then turns up with a photostat copy of a bill that isn't her property.
Almost certainly jealous.
-Probably was in love with him. -And were you?
-Yes, I suppose so. -Yes.
And jealous of this Enid Clay, if she existed.
She existed, all right.
But I wasn't jealous of her. You couldn't be.
She was such a harmless little thing.
No, I was just awfully sorry for her,
tied up to that dreadful man.
You say he was a dreadful man,
and yet you admitted to me that you were in love with him.
Now, how do these two statements fit?
Like a glove, I should have thought.
Really, what a stupid question.
What on earth is what you think your man got to do with what you feel for him?
Very well, Miss Knott.
Why come to me and not the police?
I don't want him to go to jail or anything.
I just want him shown up for what he is.
A crook, a liar and a cheat.
You see, Mr Mann, I'm really quite a patriotic woman.
When I left him, it didn't look as if he was going to get anywhere.
Now he's in the Cabinet.
And people are even saying he's the next but one Prime Minister.
Well, we can't have that, can we, Mr Mann?
You've got ideals, too, haven't you?
I still want to know why you had this photostatted,
if it wasn't for blackmail?
Oh, but it was for blackmail.
I sent it to him through the post, registered mail with a letter.
Thank you, there's no more to discuss.
But the blackmail wasn't for money, Mr Mann.
What was it for, then? Love?
How unkind.
No.
For something very simple and quite easy for him to have done.
-Funny you haven't guess it. -What?
Not to accept his post in the Cabinet.
Well, why should that be so hard to believe, Mr Mann?
Wouldn't you have done exactly the same thing in my place?
If I'd been in your place, I wouldn't have lied to the commission.
Oh, I expect you would, you know.
We all know you're a man of conscience.
But we all have to compromise a little bit from time to time.
The only question is,
how much do we compromise?
With Sir Stanley as a Right Honourable,
I personally have reached my limit.
I shall be looking in tonight.
Big sister will be watching you, Mr Mann.
Don't let me down, please.
Not just me. Us.
The whole country.
Wham! Bam!
The Right Honourable
out for the count.
That's what I expect to see.
And that's what I'm sure I will see.
Miss Knott,
you've forgotten this.
(LAUGHING) Oh, no. Keep it. I've got plenty more.
Oh, there's my bus. I must run.
Would you give this thruppence to the waitress, please?
-Hello, Dave. -Hello, John. How are you?
-Fine, And you? -Fine, Thanks.
-You ready? -Yes, when you like.
Right, let's go.
Okay, roll it.
Hmm. Keep themselves pretty well, don't they?
Yeah, don't they just.
-That's him. -Yes, at the back.
My Lord Mayor,
Your Grace, Your Excellencies, my lord, ladies and gentleman,
pray silence for the Right Honourable Sir Stanley Johnson,
member of Parliament, the Minister of Labour.
My Lord Mayor, your Grace, Your Excellencies, ladies and gentleman,
it's fallen to my lot this year
to respond to the toast of her Majesty's government.
That's a silly phrase, isn't it?
"Fallen to my lot. " (CHUCKLING)
In politics, we all know what that means.
And none better, I daresay,
than the leader of Her Majesty's Opposition down there.
(GUESTS LAUGHING)
It means that someone higher up has said, "You do it this year, Stan. "
-(LAUGHTER) -You're the new boy.
We know you'll do it splendidly.
Absolutely spiffing, we're sure.
If you make the muck-up of it we all expect you to,
then we'll ruddy well murder you.
How long is the speech? Forty minutes.
-Is there a lot more funny stuff? -There's one coming, a real brute.
-Shall I cut? -No.
My limited attainments...
Humble bit, but he's good at that.
...speaking for Her Majesty's government
to an assemblage as distinguished as this.
And I would like, if I may,
to strike a very serious note at once.
My Lord Mayor,
I must confess I'm seriously despaired to observe
that, despite the economic crisis,
you've seen fit to serve an even richer sauce
on your sole bonne femme than last year.
This is naked inflation.
-Shall we try a bit in the middle? -Somewhere he talks sense.
(FAST FORWARDING)
(LAUGHING)
On an occasion quite like this, party politics are quite out of order.
And I know that my Right Honourable friend opposite,
sitting, for once I notice, without his feet on the table...
Oh, no, he's going to be funny again.
But he's good, you know.
This homemade chaps together-style worked a fair treat, I can tell you.
He's got the highest rating of all yet.
I tell you, he's got my money for PM.
(SLOW MOTION)
Here, tonight.
I would like...
-(NORMAL SPEED) -But this is a tremendous challenge.
Let there be no mistake about it.
And when has this great country,
I don't hesitate to use that unfashionable epithet,
when has this great country of ours failed to respond to a challenge?
When?
We may be divided in our politics
but in our ideals and in our ethics we remain...
Not much more. A bit about God, I think. He usually ends on God.
(APPLAUDING)
Well, My Lord Mayor,
the challenge as I see it, is this.
And perhaps because I've not the educational advantages
of so many of you that are listening to me.
Humble Stan again.
Because I'm a very simple...
My foot!
Ordinary and, I hope I may say, honest man,
I can see more clearly to the heart of this challenge
than the experts and the intellectuals...
Intellectuals always get it from Stan.
Their commissions and reports.
Well, my Lord Mayor, the heart of the challenge
for me is this.
And I hope that you won't laugh at me for my over-simplification.
Is this age so irretrievably corrupt and materialistic?
And there are many that tell us that it is.
That men and women will no longer work for anything but
their own gainful good.
Or can they be lead to return to some of the standards
and ideals of their fathers?
And for the eternal question, "What's in it for me?"
can they substitute the more honourable plural,
"What's in it for us?"
For me, and for my fellow men
and for my country.
-Here, here! -Here, here!
I have faith that, with God's help...
-A-ha, what did I tell you? -And the leadership
of your elected leaders,
they can
and they will.
(APPLAUSE)
My God, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.
Up to form, didn't you think?
I'm afraid I don't know the form.
Well, I think that just about winds it up.
And I can only conclude by saying
how very much I appreciate
the spirit of moderation and tact
which you've shown. No, I can assure you that
not all your colleagues on the TUC
would have shown half the... Yes?
Mr David Mann, by appointment, sir.
Ah! The telly!
Can't keep him waiting.
Forgive me, gentlemen. Send him in.
Of course, you're on that show tonight, aren't you?
I'll make a point of looking in.
Oh, I wouldn't, I'm not an interesting enough person
to be stripped bare.
Sit down, young man, delighted to see you.
-Well, goodbye. -Goodbye, sir.
I'll have that agreement drawn out,
in writing, for your approval. Goodbye, goodbye.
Well, did you get what you wanted from that speech?
Yes, I think so.
Of course, on an occasion like that, you know one can't be too serious.
But I hope you got some notion now...
Sir Stanley, it's my duty to show you this.
Oh, she's been at you, has she?
You know, I had an idea she might.
You know, she's tried to give this to
about everyone in the country, one time or another.
The papers, they won't look at it, of course.
I wish they would, I could do with those damages.
The Leader of the Opposition,
yes, he tried to get her arrested,
only I stopped him.
-Even the PM. -What did he say?
Took it quite seriously.
Had the gall to ask me if it was true.
Do you care for a cigar?
No, thank you.
And how did you answer?
That I had been to the Mirabeau
about that time.
That I had spent that sum or something like it,
that, in fact, it probably is my bill.
But that the signature across it
-is a forgery. -Is it a forgery?
Looks pretty close to me.
Oh, you've been snooping, have you?
Where did you find Lopez's signature?
There was a copy a letter in the Appleton Report.
Oh, of course, but then
the man was so uneducated
he could hardly spell his name,
let alone sign it.
No two signatures of his were ever alike.
How do you know?
Ha!
Am I being cross-examined in my own office?
I saw the Lopez papers. Of course, I had to.
I was involved.
Yes, yes, of course.
Now, can we turn to less
idiotic matters?
The sort of question I thought you
-might ask me tonight. -May I have that back, please?
What? Oh, that.
Oh, well, of course, if you want it as a souvenir.
Not as a souvenir.
Before we turn to "less idiotic matters",
may I ask, sir, if either the Prime Minister
or the Leader of the Opposition
or, in fact, any of the national newspapers
took the trouble to
ring up the cashier at the Mirabeau.
Meaning you have?
Yes.
What did he say?
That Manuel Lopez
signed the bill in person.
You and the lady
were leaving that night.
And the cashier accepted the signature in payment.
He knew Manuel Lopez well, of course.
When you came down and saw the bill,
you were very angry and you blamed your secretary for carelessness.
She said it wasn't her fault,
that Mr Lopez must have done this on his own,
as she'd collected the money from him earlier to pay the account.
She wanted the bill with the signature destroyed
and another one substituted for cash. But you wouldn't have this.
You said, "The more fool him" or some such words.
Oh, it doesn't matter, I have it all on tape.
Then, you pocketed the money
and left.
And Miss Knott took the bill.
And he remembers all that after all this time?
-Apparently. -A remarkable memory.
It was a very remarkable incident.
Would he be prepared to come to this country and say the same thing,
on oath, in a court of law?
He's offered me a sworn statement to use as I think fit.
I'll soon stop all that, never you fear.
A word from me to the French Foreign Minister
or to our ambassador over there... (LAUGHING)
Well, I mean I'll...
I'll stop this phoney, blackmailing racket.
That not what you meant all, Sir Stanley.
For your comfort,
the cashier wouldn't give me a sworn statement.
But, thanks all the same, you've removed all my fears.
Miss Knott might have been a bit mad, this cashier could have been lying.
But from you, at last,
I have the truth.
The real truth?
The truth of the heart?
Yes.
You,
and the governors of the fifth channel
and the director-general of the BTV
are going to look a fine bunch of boobies
in that dock at the Old Bailey.
For criminal slander, you can get quite a long stretch.
Oh, you forget how my program is shaped, Sir Stanley.
I don't make statements, I merely ask questions.
Questions can be slanderous, too, you know.
When did you stop beating your wife?
Oh, yes, I know that hazard.
But don't worry.
None of the questions will be slanderous.
Every one will give you the chance of replying
that the whole thing is a malicious invention.
And that you really are
a simple, honest man
who believes in the standards and ideals of our fathers.
And who never had a hotel bill paid for him by Manuel Lopez.
Are you going to use that tape?
Tape? Of course not.
There is no tape.
I've never taped a telephone conversation in my life,
I wouldn't know how.
Then you have no evidence at all, have you?
-Only this. -I've told you that's no evidence.
Not in court.
Yes, there's a question of ethics here,
isn't there?
Are you a law-abiding citizen
believing in the paramountcy of the law of our land?
Yes.
And, therefore, do you approve of trial by television?
No, I do not, most emphatically I don't.
-Well, then... -Except in one instance.
When I know a truth which the law can't reveal
and to reveal that truth is in the public good.
Pro bono publico.
Just you and me then
in the ring together tonight?
Yes, Sir Stanley, just you and me.
Good. Well, I enjoy a fight.
-Always have. -So do I.
-And this one should be fun. -Yes, it should.
-No holds barred, of course. -No holds barred.
Would you like a drink?
No, thank you, sir, I'm off it.
Are you really?
That's new, isn't it?
Yes.
It's new.
Get me the British Television Company.
Fifth channel.
I want to speak to a Mr Stockton.
I know it's short notice.
Is it my fault if the man goes mad, or gets drunk
within a few hours of the broadcast and starts blackmailing cabinet ministers?
-Yes? -Mr Mann is here.
Good, send him in. But not a cartoon, anything but a cartoon.
Well, it's a travel log then.
At 9:15, a travel log!
Can't you hear that sound of all those sets being switched to other channels?
Don't panic, man.
Listen, take my assurance for this, you won't have to use
your alternative programme, there's not a chance of it.
In dealing with a hysterical case like David Mann, I have to be forearmed.
Oh, so that's settled then, Cyril.
If the necessity should arise... Oh, hello, David, I won't be a moment.
If the necessity should arise,
we have the announcement of Mr Mann's indisposition
made of half hourly intervals from 7:00 p.m. onwards
and, at 9:15, we run that film you suggested.
-That all understood? -Perfectly.
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
Why my indisposition and not Sir Stanley's?
Because the indisposition will be yours and not his.
Better take your coat off and sit down.
No, thank you, I'd rather stand.
I won't be indisposed at 9:15, Mr Stockton,
I'll be on stage five, changed and ready to face the cameras.
If Sir Stanley is not,
then we must assume that he's been taken very suddenly,
very seriously and, to my suspicious mind,
very revealingly ill.
I would like that fact announced,
and not some damaging lie about myself.
Now listen, David, we'd better not quarrel about this.
We don't have to, you know.
Can I see that photostat?
Yes.
(LAUGHING) Gosh.
She's done a good job, all right, you must give her credit.
I can quite see how
even a brilliant brain like yours could have been taken in.
You have a brilliant brain, Mr Stockton.
-Why isn't yours taken in? -Because I know Stan Johnson
and you don't. He's incapable of that kind of fraud.
Yes, I know about your call to the cashier.
You see, David, there you are.
He didn't have to tell me about that, did he?
He could have denied any knowledge whatever about
the whole ridiculous affair. But far from it.
In his telephone conversation with me, he went out of his way
to justify you completely.
Did he perhaps give you a faint hint that I might have lunched rather well?
-Isn't that natural, with your record? -How does he know about my record?
Oh, of course.
You know him and I don't.
What does he say about the cashier?
Oh, he remembers the cashier now very well.
-On retrospection? -Yes, it was some boy,
who conceived a violent passion for Enid Clay.
You knew about Enid Clay?
-Well, of course. Who didn't? -I didn't.
She's a model girl now.
Politicians are human, David.
Funny how that word is so often misused.
Anyway, his sex life is hardly in your brief, is it?
I agree, but that cashier is.
You say the cashier was in love with Enid Clay?
Yes. And, so, of course was madly jealous of her protector.
Sir Stanley says he remembers all sorts of trouble with the boy now.
I'm quite sure he'd say or do anything in the world to injure him.
It's a pity, David, you called that cashier.
Yes, it is, isn't it?
But I did.
And what's more, I believed every word he told me.
And I'll be believing tonight at 9:15,
and despising Sir Stanley even more
for the cheap, sordid lies he's told you.
So what do you suggest we do?
I don't suggest anything.
It's not my programme, suggestions from me are out of place.
I'll just state some facts. Fact one.
I've given Sir Stanley my word that if the interview takes place tonight,
the Appleton Report will not be referred to,
directly or indirectly.
That the name Lopez will not be mentioned.
And that that document in your pocket
will be surrendered to him before the show.
Fact two.
That the general tenor of the interview will be friendly and constructive,
show him to the viewers in a friendly light.
-Fact three... -There's no need for fact three,
Mr Stockton. Under those conditions, I don't do the interview.
I think we need fact three.
It's that if the Heart to Heart programme
doesn't go out tonight, as advertised,
my report to the directors
will be forced to refer to the known unreliablity of the grand inquisitor.
"Will be forced to."
That's pretty good.
It's good because it's the truth!
Oh, damn it, Mann, you think I want to lose you from the next series?
Who else is going to do it half as well?
There's been no word from me to the directors about last night
-and there won't be either, provided... -Providing I play ball?
Provided you don't force my hand.
Give me a call by 6:45 and tell me what you've decided.
I've told you.
I've already decided.
Give me a call anyway.
WOMAN.: Yes, Mr Stockton?
Get a call through to Sir Stanley Johnson at the House of Commons.
Tell him I have every reason to suppose tonight's interview is on.
-Yes, Mr Stockton. -And after that get me Mrs David Mann.
Mrs David Mann?
Yes.
Somebody has told you already, it seems.
Who was it?
Frank?
It wasn't Frank.
I didn't think it was.
Who was it then?
Jessie?
Surely not Jessie.
-What are you doing? -Pouring myself a drink.
Now wait a minute, darling,
whoever's told you, hasn't apparently told it to you properly.
I'm not doing the show tonight, I can get quite drunk, if I want to.
They always say whisky doesn't stain, but...
-You'd better get a rag, just in case. -The rag can wait.
Sit here, darling.
I am sorry about that.
But at least it shows you how much I care.
Stockton, of course. Well, well.
Sir Stanley's friend.
-No holds barred. -What's that?
It's a metaphor from wrestling, my love.
Licence to kick your opponent where it hurts him most.
Isn't it me that's going to be hurt?
That's exactly what I meant.
I'm not going to argue with you, David, it's never any good arguing with you,
a girl can't win.
I'm just going to say this.
You must decide to do whatever you think is right.
And what ever you do decide, I shall love you and go on loving you forever.
Can't a girl win?
I'm going to get myself a drink.
-No, David. -Now wait a minute, darling,
a moment ago, you knocked my whisky all over the carpet.
I'm only refilling my glass.
You'd better have it straight from the shoulder, David.
That's from boxing, isn't it?
Yes.
If you lose the job,
you'll lose me.
But you'll still love me?
And go on loving me forever?
Yes, I will.
From who's bed?
Does it matter?
John Wilkinson's bed's already occupied.
He wants a divorce.
I'm not surprised.
How long have you known about it?
Since May 20th, 1959.
The date's in my diary.
It was at that weekend at that
dreadful place of theirs at Henley.
Caroline Wilkinson didn't notice, but I did.
Why have you never said anything?
I was afraid I might lose you.
-Oh, darling. -No, don't come any nearer, please.
You see, I'd worked it out.
But it wasn't happening so very often,
about...once every two months, I reckoned.
-Was that an underestimate? -No.
Over, if anything.
And then again,
I knew it was
his world you really wanted, not him.
Lady Milchester and so forth.
Lady Milchester.
Charming lady.
She'd even heard of the name David Mann.
Well, I'm not going to give you a divorce.
Why should you?
No reason that I can think of, except perhaps to marry Caroline Wilkinson.
Not Jessie Weston?
She's married already.
How long have you known about that?
Do you think I'm blind?
We haven't slept together.
Do I need to be told that?
I'm not giving you up without a fight you know, David.
Do you think any girl in her senses
would willingly exchange you for John Wilkinson?
Do you know something, Peggy?
It's taken me eight years to find the courage to say this,
but I can say it now.
I despise you.
But I despise myself, darling, you know that.
I love money and flats in Eaton Square
and convertible Bentleys with chauffeurs.
I like fur coats and Balmain dresses, too.
-Did he give you a fur coat? -No, how could he?
But that, that black dress, that one with the long sleeves...
Yes, that's Balmain.
Harrods sale, I think you said it was.
When did he give it to you? That, that time in Paris?
Yes.
So go on despising me, that's all right.
Nice girls don't behave the way I do.
Or admit they want the things I want.
But not many nice girls faced starvation when they were five.
Or had to dress themselves in other professor's daughter's
thrown-out clothes when they where 18.
Nice girls love their husbands, and respect their husband's principles.
They didn't have to go through what my father made me go through
for his principles.
If we'd stayed on in Riga
after the Russians came, do you know as a professor of physics
he'd be earning, three times, three times as much money
as he's earning now at New College?
I'm not surprised.
They might even have named a new Sputnik after him.
-Is that so bad? -No, it's good, it's very good.
Only, if he's stay in Riga, we'd never have met.
No, and you would've been free to marry Jessie Weston.
Yes.
And lived happily ever after.
Not necessarily.
But lived, anyway.
With Jessie,
would it have been living?
As they say in the quiz shows,
it all depends what you mean by living.
I know what you mean by living, darling.
Who better?
It's what I mean, too, you know.
Of course you know.
Who better?
It's so corny, Peggy. The whole thing is so very corny.
Vamping scenes went out with silent pictures.
Anyway, you need a tiger skin rug and the right lighting.
I need a drink.
Of course you must have a drink, darling. I'll get it for you.
You call that a drink?
Yes, darling,
I call that a drink.
Now, darling, let's talk about plans.
After all, if we are going to part forever,
we have a lot of plans to talk about.
My God, you're corny, Peggy, you're so corny.
Your eyes are red, have you been crying?
-Yes. -When?
About half an hour ago, at the studio, in the gents.
It's all right, it won't show under the lights.
Why were you crying, darling?
(SOBBING)
I hate you.
Of course you do.
I hate myself.
But not for the same reasons.
What are they?
(VOICE BREAKING)
What is it, darling?
What is it?
Now, darling,
let's be sensible.
After all, we do have an awful lot to talk about.
MAN: That's why he always gives her Supreme Chocolates,
so rich,
so creamy,
so, mmm, chocolatey.
Try some.
MALE ANNOUNCER: 8.:45, Channel 5.
At 9.:15 tonight, the 60th edition of Heart to Heart,
will bring to you our grand inquisitor, David Mann
versus the new Minister of Labour, Sir Stanley Johnson,
in a 15 minute, all-out fight.
Don't fail to keep tuned.
I should think that will be all right now, Jack.
-That's fine, let's join the party. -Okay, let's go.
All right, you've got that clear, have you?
Yes, quite clear.
At any reference to the Appleton Report or any reference to Lopez,
or any reference to anything that seems to you dangerous
you are to cut sound instantaneously.
Mrs, um, you've got that clear, too, haven't you?
Now it maybe a question of split seconds.
I thought he'd given his word.
Well, strictly speaking, he's given nothing.
It was his wife who called to say that the interview was on.
Under your conditions?
Well, obviously that was the understanding.
Both she and he knew what my conditions were.
And agreeing to do the interview at all, he, presumably, has accepted them.
But with this man, we also have a drink problem to face.
Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that in front of Mrs...
No, you shouldn't.
Please forget I said that, Mrs Weston.
It's not a problem that need concern you.
No.
I shall have an open line anyway to the technical operations manager
here in the control room, so that if either of you should slip up,
I'm quite sure you won't, but if you should,
I can have the sound cut like that.
Vision can remain on till "the normal transmissions will be resumed
"as soon as possible" notice.
Then I suggest an apology for the technical failure.
And, um, oh, hello, David.
And a vague promise about the interview being done at a later date.
Oh, don't let this worry you, it's just in case of a technical hitch.
There won't be one, I know.
-Hello, Frank. -Hello, David.
-Jessie. -Hello, David.
Well, is there anything you wanted to say to me?
I don't think so, Mr Stockton.
Well then, let's get down to the party.
He seems to be enjoying himself, Simpson's looking after him.
I would like a word or two with Mrs Weston, if you don't mind.
A technical matter.
Yes, of course. Frank, come on.
What am I going to do, Jessie?
Haven't you already done it?
-I promised nothing. -Your wife has.
Oh, does that bind me?
Well, if you heard her telephoning and you didn't stop her or contradict her,
I'd say it did.
And here you are, and sober, too, it seems.
I don't think we have anything more of this technical matter to discuss,
do you, Mr Mann?
Oh, don't give me the hard, bright stuff.
Not now, Jessie, please.
-Oh, what do you want me to give you? -Nothing,
-except... -Except what?
Except I need you.
And, Jessie...
I love you.
My God, how unfair can you get?
If I'm going through with this tonight, I must know that you at least
are behind me.
At least?
Oh, damn you, David, why don't you leave me out of this?
Can't you help me?
Well, how?
My orders are clear, anyway.
If you mention the Appleton Report, I'm to cut off sound.
-So what are you going to do? -I'm going to go for it.
-Get sound cut off. -Oh!
What the hell good do you think that will do?
I want you tell me.
All right, I will.
No one watching tonight will be one whit the wiser
about our new Minister of Labour.
Honest Stan will continue to flourish
and honest David will be out on his ear in television for life.
Yes, but what you don't know is that,
if I do what I'm planning to do tonight,
I shall be without a wife.
Oh.
And that would be pretty tough for you, I'd imagine.
Yes, very.
But I think I could survive, just, if...
-We'd better get down. -If what?
If, like a left my husband, for instance?
You told me you don't even like him.
Ah, but I'm an eccentric, see, David.
I happen to believe, that when you marry a man,
you marry him.
So that's cleared up,
for good.
David?
You give it to him tonight.
You give it to him good.
Come on, let's go.
Which won't be heard by anyone.
Yes, it'll be heard by Stockton, by Sir Stanley, too.
-By me, if it comes to that. -But it won't do any good.
-And that matters? -Yes, it does matter.
But I need some help, Jessie.
And more help than just the moral support of the production secretary
in the control room.
Who said you had the moral support of the production secretary?
You have Mrs Jessie Weston's best wishes.
You always have those.
But what the production secretary likes is a nice, smooth show
without any technical hitches.
I'm sorry, David, but you're on your own.
Come on.
-Hello, Jessie. -Hello, Mrs Mann.
You look smart. That's new, isn't it?
It's new enough, about five years old, that's all.
Excuse me, I want to talk to Frank.
-Well, David, feeling in fine form? -Yes, thank you.
-Technical problems all ironed out? -Completely.
-Good. Oh, Stanley? -Yes?
-Your inquisitor is here. -Oh, hello.
Hey, where are the... Where are the photographers?
Better get this now, while we can, I mean.
Later on, all they may get is me cuffing our young friend over the earhole.
Come on, smile, young man.
Even heavyweight boxers smile at the weigh-in.
(LAUGHING)
Gentlemen, do you mind clearing the background, please?
-Smile, Mr Mann. -Yes, give them the famous dimple.
One more for profile, Mr Mann.
Oh, darling, I do love you so much.
-My wife, Sir Stanley. -Well, talk about luck.
Having a wife that looks like that. Well, why isn't she on television?
She can't act very well.
Well, how'd you know until you've seen her?
-I have seen her. -He's so silly.
It's a private joke, Sir Stanley.
-I've never acted in my life. -Oh, well, you should,
you should get him to send you for a term or two
to one of those drama schools, like the RADA.
Is that where Enid Clay went?
Mrs Mann, can I take one of you over there, please?
Floor manager has called the five minutes, they are clearing the set.
Now, good luck to you both. I'm sure it's going to be a fine show.
-Good luck. -Could you come this way, Lady Johnson?
There's a seat reserved for you in the viewing room.
Oh, thank you. Good luck, dear.
-Birmingham Rep. -I beg your pardon?
Oh, you were asking about Enid Clay, weren't you?
Well, she went to the Birmingham Rep.
-Thanks for the information. -Not at all, if there's any thing else
you want to know before the interview,
-you won't hesitate, will you? -No, I won't, sir.
But I'm pretty well briefed, thank you.
FLOOR MANAGER: All right, four minutes, studio. Opening positions, please.
MAN: This way, Sir Stanley.
Good luck, darling.
Tonight, at least, I will be watching.
(CLEARING THROAT)
JESSIE: Good evening. ALL: Good evening!
-Let us get through this one, eh? -Yes, indeed.
-All right, Jess? -Yes.
-Now, who's got the scripts? -Here.
All right. Settle down, studio. Three minutes, please, three minutes.
Okay for sound test, Charlie?
-Okay,Joe. -David?
Right. One, two, three, four, five.
Tell me, Sir Stanley, have you read anything interesting lately?
Yes, I've read one or two things that interested me quite a lot,
-quite a lot. -Such as?
Oh, documents and things, you know.
Have you had any good holidays?
Yes, I've enjoyed an occasional holiday, you know?
Okay, Sam, thank you. Number one, usual track in.
Number two, close on Sir Stanley after the captions.
-What? -You heard.
When that microphone is live, then you can start rolling.
(RATTLING)
Hello? Oh, yes, Mr Stockton.
DOM? Right.
I am keeping this line open to you throughout the entire transmission.
-Understood? -Yes, of course, Mr Stockton.
At a word from you. Yes, that's understood.
Could it be that we are not being altogether trusted?
-Hah! -Ninety seconds, Joe.
Remind Sir Stanley of the opening drill, will you?
Okay. Ninety seconds, studio!
-All right if I smoke? -Yes, you should. Good for the nerves.
Just a minute. Can I have that document, please?
-What document? -You know blooming well what document.
Oh, yes, yes. I have it here somewhere.
Meanwhile, I think you ought to listen to the floor manager. Go ahead, Joe.
-I want that document. -One minute, studio!
You shall have it when I find it, sir. But there's less than a minute to go.
Joe, give him the drill.
Sir Stanley, when I drop my arm like this, we're on vision.
That is, the cameras live but the sound is off
and the programme titles are being shown on the screen.
These titles are superimposed over pictures of you and Mr Mann.
And although we can see you, you cannot be heard.
I will then give you a second cue when the sound goes on
and the viewers at home will be able to hear you.
No doubt Mr Mann has already told you, you should be smiling at each other.
Oh, no, thank you, Joe. I forgot to mention that.
In the opening shot, Sir Stanley,
you and I should be seen smiling at each other,
you know, like two heavyweight boxers at the weigh-in.
-Give me that bill. -You shall have it when I find it, sir.
You have the idea, Sir Stanley? First cue for vision,
second cue for sound, then after the titles,
that light on up there will go on, and you're on the air.
I'm not on the air without that bill in my pocket, I'm telling you straight.
-Give me that bill. -Excuse me. Dave!
Jessie? Jessie?
Yes, David?
I shall want that insert close-up on cue.
What insert close-up?
That copy of the photostatted hotel bill, remember?
-20 seconds, studio! -Okay, David.
And I shall want that tape-recorded telephone conversation ready to run.
As you say, David.
-Ten seconds, Joe. -Ten seconds!
-You remember the cue, all right? -Nine...
(COUNTDOWN) What's that about "insert close-up"?
You said you didn't have a tape, a tape of that talk with the cashier.
Yes, I did say that. I suppose I did. (COUNTING DOWN)
And what was the idea of telling me that dirty lie?
Just to get you in that chair, Sir Stanley, facing me,
with 15 million viewers watching.
Yes, the camera is on.
Don't look at it, that's bad. You should be looking at me.
Say one, two, three, four, five and I'll laugh
just as if you made the most hearty bluff, honest joke in the whole world.
Sound isn't done yet, you see, so it doesn't really matter.
Go ahead, Sir Stanley. One, two, three, four, five.
You're a double-crossing bastard.
Oh, well done, Sir Stanley. How do you think of them?
I still believe you're lying anyway. I don't believe you've got that tape.
I don't believe you've got a close-up of that bill.
Well, you'll soon find out, won't you?
'Cause in less than 15 seconds, sound will be on, too.
-How much? -FRANK: Take it out.
Your resignation.
(LAUGHTER)
-You've got a nerve! -Super David's caption.
-Haven't I just? -Take it out.
Sound!
Good evening to you, Sir Stanley Johnson, Minister of Labour.
And may I begin, sir, by welcoming you to this programme
and by saying how grateful I am
to have this opportunity of asking you one or two questions.
Delighted to answer them I'm sure, if they're questions I can answer, that is.
Does that mean there are one or two questions you perhaps
cannot answer, Sir Stanley?
Hello, DOM?
I see I've got to watch my step a bit with you, young fella.
Nearly fell into that, didn't I?
Oh, you can ask me any damn question you like.
Can I say that on television? Well, I've said it now, haven't I?
I'll give you as straight an answer as I can.
And, of course, we all know from your reputation
just how straight those answers will be.
Now, sir, I was privileged to hear your speech...
All right so far. Are you still there, DOM?
...in which you talked about corruption.
I think that was the word you used, wasn't it? Corruption?
-Three, change lens. -That was the exact word I used.
What particular form of corruption had you in mind?
Ah, there's corruption all around, isn't there?
Yes, all around.
I think this is the age of affluence, isn't it?
The age of "I'm all right, Jack and what's in it for me?"
Yes, what's in it for me?
I remember you did use that phrase, Sir Stanley. "What's in it for me?"
And, to you, that phrase...
What's that piece of paper he's looking at?
JOHNSTON: Yes, it typifies the spirit of the age...
How do I know what the piece of paper is? I'm producing a show here.
Four, two-shot, medium close.
But then, I'd willingly give up both the job and the money.
Who knows, one day I may have to,
rather than conduct an interview corruptly.
You mean, if someone came to you and said,
"Well, look, young man, it would be worth
"say £5,000 to me, not to say
"what you know about something or other."
No, let's put it higher. Let's say, £10,000.
There's no need to go any higher, sir. I'd spit in his eye.
What? On television in front of 15 million viewers?
I might wait till after the broadcast.
Well, we can take it that you are not corrupt then, I suppose.
No. But, then I'm not particularly honest either.
It's just that I have one or two principles,
one of which I'm not prepared to betray.
But this interview isn't about me, Sir Stanley. It's about you.
So let's get back to this word, "Corruption".
I have one particular question.
Now, just a minute. Which of these cameras is on us?
Is it this one or is it this one?
-It's the one with the red light... -Prepare to blackout.
-Could I have it in close, please. -Hold it!
-I'll tell you when. Hold it now! -Show this young fella any more.
Now, I'm...
-I'm fairly certain... -Track in on victim. Full close-up.
When I say that we're all getting a bit tired
of this trial by television.
Mind you, he's so artful, this one,
I daresay you didn't know it was a trial.
Good!
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry for this.
This is not what you expected.
And, to be frank and honest, it is not what I expected either.
I am quite frank and honest, you know.
In spite of what this young man would have told you
to the contrary, if I'd let him go on with his interview.
It's still on, isn't it? And the sound's on, too?
Good, because I want everyone to hear this.
It's a bit hot under these lights. Excuse me.
Cancel that. Now, cancel that order!
Keep the sound on and get the camera in closer.
Explained by me because
from him, if I had let him go on the way he was going,
you would have got something a bit distorted, a bit twisted around,
a bit, well, you know,
intellectual-like.
No, that's not guilty conscience.
It's just that these lights are ruddy hot and for an old geezer like me,
who doesn't usually say no to the odd pint of beer,
it's ruddy uncomfortable, to say the least.
Well, oh...
Sorry for not making this sound a bit more
elegant and graceful, you know,
the way you're accustomed to seeing and hearing politicians on the telly screen.
That's the sort of chap I am and you'll just have to take me or leave me.
Well, you'll probably leave me.
Because I've got a confession to make
and it isn't a very nice one, I'll grant.
But before I make it, I'd better tell you this.
I'm handing in my resignation as
Minister of Labour to the Prime Minister tomorrow morning.
It'll be up to him to accept it or reject it,
whatever he feels is right.
You can pretty well bet that what he feels is right
is what you feel is right.
Well, here goes.
Now, this young man here, who I hope you can't see
because I never want to see him again, I tell you that,
has got hold of a document.
A photostat of a hotel bill,
the Mirabeau in Cannes, that's in the South of France,
where the wife and I took ourselves a bit of a spree some years ago.
She was a bit run down and needed the rest and I,
well, with me, what the wife says usually goes.
But the point is this, ladies and gentlemen,
that bill is signed Manuel Lopez.
You won't remember that name, but he was pretty well the villain
of something called the Appleton Commission,
which was about how we'd all taken bribes
at the Board of Trade or something. (COUGHING)
Looking forward to that pint, I tell you.
Well, of course, we hadn't taken bribes, any of us,
it was all proved at that time.
But I'm afraid I made a bit of a boob.
Well, you may think it was something a good deal worse.
I wouldn't blame you if you did. And so may the Prime Minister.
But I accepted this chap Lopez's offer
for a bit of extra foreign currency.
I didn't know the first thing about it, mind.
The only connection between him and the Board of Trade, well,
you can see me falling for that old one.
But I did know
that, in accepting his signature on my bill,
and paying him back in Sterling,
I was technically contravening
the currency regulations that were in force at that time.
Reaction David on Four, you've got a good close-up.
Controller's orders, stay on victim.
Since when was Stockton made the producer of this show?
-All right, all right, forget it. -Forget it, Four. We're staying on two.
And that's what this young man had against me.
And what he was planning to reveal to you
by showing you a close-up of this.
This is the bill signed by Lopez.
How could he have fallen for that?
Getting closer. Try and pick up the signature on that bill.
Well, that's the signature "Manuel Lopez".
And it's genuine.
I could have said it was a forgery and try to bluff it out but
that's not quite my style.
Oh, if I've done something wrong, and this was wrong,
the fact that at that time it was being done by
thousands of people every day
-doesn't make it any the less wrong. -Leave the paper in his hand.
-Up on his face, as close as possible. -Can't get right inside, can you?
No but that sweat could just help.
That's honest Stan's honest pint coming out.
So, even that makes good television and this is great, lady, it's great!
'Cause the wife did need that holiday, you know.
She really did need it, and needed it bad because,
well, I don't know, perhaps some of you saw a picture in
tonight's evening papers of the two of us
with our cat, James.
We love James, the wife and I.
I like dogs, too, of course, but,
cats are what my dear wife really worships and so do I.
We have cats in our house, you know, the way other people have mice.
-Now he's gone too far. -He hasn't, you know.
James's mother, Elizabeth the Third,
had been run over. Oh, a really horrible accident.
The poor thing lingered on
but I better not talk about it because my wife might be listening...
Elizabeth the Third's rather a nice name for a cat. I must remember that.
I don't mean it to.
No, I broke the law, I must take the consequences.
So, from tomorrow on, I'm just
plain Stan Johnson, not Minister of Labour,
maybe not even an MP, if my constituency chucks me out
as they have every right to do, mind.
Just common old Stan, who once made a bloomer,
and years later had to pay the price.
You know, I think he should do more television.
I think that's about all, ladies and gentlemen,
I'm sorry it had to end that way but, there it is.
In conclusion, I can only say that...
Joe, the second he ends his speech, we go to final captions,
no closing drill, no going to David for a plug, no nothing. Do you get that?
-The timing's gone. -I beg for a chance.
-If one day you'll forgive me... -But that's my can to carry, not yours.
In whatever capacity you might feel right.
But if you don't forgive him, mind you, he doesn't think you should,
he will take his medicine and you will hear no more from him.
He'll blame no one at all except himself. Otherwise, no one.
Leave alone his grand inquisitor, Mr David Mann,
and this fine, truthful show,
Heart to Heart. Good night, ladies and gentlemen.
A plug, yet. If they kick him out of politics,
we can use this character on the show.
Cut sound, start titles. Number one, track in, as usual.
-Grams up! -Kick him out of politics?
You think he's got away with it? Stand by, announcer.
Why are you a producer and me just a menial?
What about David?
Well, it's a question I'm always asking.
Have you got a cigarette?
About even money?
Tonight's show will make the front page
of every newspaper all over the world.
Stockton will have to coin some such immortal phrase
as "we made television history." Sorry.
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-Are those ruddy cameras still on us? -Yes, they're still on us, Sir Stanley.
But ought you to be smiling? I mean, won't they all think it's a put-up job?
You'd like me to register facially my disapproval of a loving husband,
who once contravened the currency regulations
in order to console his wife
for the loss of her cat Elizabeth the Third,
-mother of her present cat, Charles. -Charles?
Damn it. Well, there aren't many that know its real name anyway.
-Are they still on us? -I'll tell you when they're off.
-They're off. -Thank the Lord!
MAN: Right! Wrap it up, studio! Thank you, one and all.
There was a bit of a muck-up somewhere but it wasn't our fault.
-Well, who do you think won? -Won?
-The fight? -Fight?
-Between you and me. -Oh, you won that fight hands down.
Well, was there another fight?
Yes. Not between us. Between me and me.
I think I won it. I think so.
Are you cuckoo or something?
Did you have that slide and that tape?
No, of course I didn't.
I was pretty sure you didn't.
Still, I couldn't take the risk now, could I?
I suppose the viewers are telephoning in the hundreds.
-How are the calls going? -Well, I've just checked.
-Two hundred and eighty four in already. -Yes.
Well, out of those 284,
2 72 say that Sir Stanley must not, on any account, resign.
And of those twelve, five said that the whole thing was a put-up job.
What did I tell you? It was the smiling after...
And four said that they hoped that we'd repeat it tomorrow
because they'd like another chance to make up their minds.
-That still leaves three. -Yes, well...
They think that Sir Stanley should resign.
Well, well, well!
-That was a bit of a mix-up, wasn't it? -I'm sorry...
Well, don't apologise. We made television history!
Stanley, it's going to be all right. You've heard how the calls are going?
-Yes, very gratifying. -Well, I made it my business
to see that that information gets the fullest publicity by tomorrow.
A certain feeler I've had from a certain quarter,
I don't think a certain very important person
can possibly ignore the expressed and the declared will of the people.
Well, in a democracy, it's that which must
in the long run, count, mustn't it?
Mind you, my resignation still goes in in the morning.
Of course! Now, let me take you off for that pint.
Beers for the cameras.
Do you know what I want? It's a quadruple brandy.
-Well, dear, how do you think it went? -Oh, I felt so ashamed,
you know, you had a little tear in the corner of your waistcoat.
Yes, well, I want that brandy.
I'll get it. Oh, David!
-I brought Peggy down. -Yes, I see you have.
She's had some news which I have just given her
which she wants to pass on to you.
Better from her than from me, I thought.
That's very considerate of you, Mr Stockton.
Good night to you both.
Good show, Frank. You handled that wonderfully!
And so did you, Mrs Weston.
Well, I'll be seeing you both. Well, go ahead and tell David.
Good night, boys! Great show you did tonight! Great!
I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
You may not know it,
but tonight we made television history!
Oh, darling, darling!
I'm so excited, I can't say much more than that.
Frank, I haven't got my car. Can you give me a lift home?
-Oh, yes. Sure. -Jessie, come home with me.
-I can't, he'll be waiting. -Frank?
Yes, please! I need a drink. I need 10, I think!
Peggy, you go with Frank. I'll drop Jessie.
David, darling, I have some very exciting news for you,
you know that the controller told me to tell you?
Yes, that will keep till we get home.
-Go with Frank. -Of course.
Well done, darling. I am very proud of you.
You must be having heart failure up there in the control room.
You can imagine how I was feeling in the projection room.
Yes, Peggy, yes, I can.
So, I failed, didn't I?
-Well, it depends what you mean by fail. -Oh, don't.
I hate failure.
Even more than you hate success.
You didn't fail.
Oh, three, out of two hundred and eighty four.
A little more than one hundred.
How many voters are there in this country, Mr Mann?
I don't know. You tell me. You're bound to know.
Well, I don't.
I only know that those three tonight are going to be three thousand tomorrow,
three hundred thousand the day after.
Why not, maybe three million on the day it really matters.
Women always exaggerate so ridiculously. Anyway, your arithmetic is absurd.
Oh, sure. But absurd or not,
it will stop Sir Honest Stan ever being Prime Minister of this country.
And that's no woman's exaggeration, Mr Mann.
One day, your name will appear as a footnote
in the political history of England.
Oh! Who the hell wants to be a bloody footnote?
You do. Come on.
You know, I meant what I said earlier, Jessie.
I do need you. I do love you.
Things like tonight, I can't face on my own.
-Well, you did. -No. No.
I wasn't on my own.
No!
This is a bad set for a love scene.
Who said anything about a love scene?
You did. You said "love".
If a man says that to a woman in the Wild West,
he means "love", damn it.
-Jessie? -No. We're off the set now.
I was going to do it, you know, Jessie? You believe that, don't you?
I was going to expose that phoney,
they were gonna cut me off or fire me, but I was gonna do it.
It would have cost me my job, my flat, my car and my wife.
You believe me, don't you?
Your wife came pretty low on that list.
-Dave? -Yeah?
Excuse me, Mrs Weston.
My little sister's mad about you and she wanted to get your autograph.
All right.
-Thanks, David. -Good night.
You believe me, don't you, Jessie?
If I didn't, I wouldn't love you, would I?
Good night.
-I'm dropping... -No, I'm gonna get the bus home. No.
Please, I didn't mean that.
I know exactly what you didn't mean.
Oh, damn. Damn.
It would be nice, wouldn't it, if things were different.
Go on, say it.
All depends on what you mean by "nice".
No, it all depends on what you mean by "different".
Go home, David.
Three. Three out of two hundred and eighty four.
That's right.
Well, I'd like to meet those three.
Now, you go home and think about them.
They must be very interesting people.
And I'll go home,
think about the man who made them interesting.
Good night, Mrs Weston.
Good night, Mr Mann.